Remember that time I said we were back?
Approximately five months ago?
Yeah, that didn’t work out so well. Lots of things intervened, but the primary instigator was an old friend I like to call laziness. Seriously, y’all: Blogging is hard. I write words all day long, and while my 9-5 (ha!) musings don’t typically cover subjects related to rug-disposal and basic human anatomy, it’s tough to want to come home and spend another thirty minutes with my keyboard.
As such, I’ve decided to abandon the “good blogger” initiative. Daily posts? Please. Weekly posts? I think not! I’ll blog when and where I want, and this blog’s getting back to its roots:
Shame. Schadenfreude. Shenanigans.
To get us started, here’s a quick overview of the last 150 days:
1. I tried to make chorizo.* I ended up melting my cheap Swedish tupperware onto our über-classy flat-top stove.
2. I tried to eat said chorizo, but the plastic-related chemicals were too overpowering. That’s the last time I buy food-related items from IKEA.
3. In order to share this momentous event with you, I saved the melted tupperware — the part I hadn’t ingested — for a future photo session. Which never happened. See the discussion of my failure to be a “good blogger” above.
4. We moved! Into a fabulous old house with wood floors and a giant yard. The air conditioning was broken on the day we hauled our stuff over, and we weren’t able to get the gas turned on for approximately 10 days after that. Never fear — all systems are now go, as evidenced by the $240 electric bill we received this week.
5. I fake-moved to the Midwest, where I’ve been staying periodically for work. The Minnesotans have been teaching me about the wonders of Walleye and the Mall of America. Thus far, I’ve avoided telling them to pry my queso and Neiman’s out of my cold, dead hands. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Thomas Jefferson reportedly said that the “most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” I’ve now spent more than 350 saying nothing at all, so I believe it’s time to take my leave.
See you next time.